Anaya...... freedom

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Her wedding dress laid discarded on the floor. It was time..... time to act on her decision that she had contemplated about for so long.

As she walked out of the room, she went back in time when all of it started.

Anaya was a simple, educated and a very care-free girl who believed in enjoying life to the fullest. As per her desires, she had graduated from a very reupted college in the city and had been immeditely picked up by the top most designing boutique. She had explored her creativity and designed clothes creating her own signature style.

One thing led to another and before she knew her parents were talking about her wedding. She met Adarsh in one such traditional match fixing date and had instantly taken a liking towards his straight forward and down to earth nature. She had given her approval to her parents and the prepareations for her wedding started. Her parents were exicted about their only daughter's wedding and being very wealthy did not want to leave any stone unturned for her wedding. They had spent a lot of money and had only the grandest & finest things arranged for her wedding.

Back with (hopefully) a bang!!!

It’s been 4 years since the world cup and 4 years since I’ve last posted on this blog (except for the one off blog entry on 'The Immortals of Meluha'). 4 year has been quite a long time to go on a hiatus.

But 4 years is definitely a long time for copious changes to happen in one’s life. From being Ms. to Mrs., from being in HR to becoming a part of an instructional designing team, from being Mrs. to almost taking the next step of becoming a mom but losing it mid way and from being employed to becoming unemployed. Numerous changes, numerous emotions, numerous gains and numerous pains. That just sums up my life for the last 4 years.

Over the course of these past 4 years life has been a constant teacher. It has allowed me to make mistakes, corrected me when needed, made me restless when my goals haven’t been achieved, given me the satisfaction and the much needed rest when I have been able to reach the next milestone in my life, given me the opportunity to be at my happiest best and made me grieve over what’s lost.

I met my special somebody, my future family whom I’ve come to believe as my own, made new friends, made new connections that last me a life time, met new people and carried on with life.

The past years has shown me both ups and downs, shown me my best and my worst, shown me who’s mine and who isn’t. I’ve lived every minute, every second of these past years. I’ve enjoyed my life for whatever it is during these years. I only hope that the future years have something good stored in them. Something memorable, something that makes life worth living!

Neelkanth........................... Mahadev

After a really really long time, I read a book that was gripping enough to keep me at the edge of my seat as I turned each page.

Although it was released almost a year and half back, I got to know about it only after one of my colleagues kept raving that it was the book that couldn’t be put down until it was finished. She claimed it was the next ‘Harry Potter series’ only to be written by an Indian author. Now being a hardcore Harry Potter fan, I found it a little unsettling, but nevertheless thought it was a shot worth trying.

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After much an await, I finally laid my hand on – ‘The immortals of Meluha’ – the first of the ‘Shiva Trilogy’ written by yet another IIM pass out. Now, don’t get me wrong.  I have nothing against the IIM’s guys.  But most of the IIM pass-outs who have turned out to become writers have ventured into the already trodden path of - college life, rich dads, poor girl friends, sex, inter-religion/inter-caste marriage, starting their own business and the likes of it. And I thought this guy was no different.

But, for a change, Amish’s writing turned out to be different. His writing was a journey of a lesser known tribesman to become one of the greatest Gods known to the mankind – that of Shiva, Neelkanth or Mahadev as he comes to be identified as! Not only had he done his homework on the subject, but he transcended them into such easy flowing words – that it was impossible to put the book down! The book is definitely a page turner!

Full Circle

It's strange how life turns around when you are least expecting it.

2008 - 2010 has been extremely taxing on me, in terms of personal life, relationships, professional life and in terms of maintaining my sanity as a person, as an individual. I always had this thoughts that I was bound with shackles which was making it very difficult for me to think, strategize and come out with a solution. It was like I was on the brink of insanity and many of my previous posts have reflected this.

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The last 2 years, I've realized emotions which I've never expected, experienced frustration at its peak, desperation clawing in me and depression killing me from inside. But if there's something that I must be proud about in these 2 years, it is the ability of having grown as a person internally and individually. The ability of having to withstand negative emotions without reacting to it. The ability of being indifferent towards people and towards circumstances which I no longer cared about. The ability of controlling my anger towards people and towards circumstances.

Just when I had given up hopes of a brighter tomorrow, the sun shone with its glorious rays encapsulating me with a warm glow of contentment from within.

Delays are not denials - I had read this as somebody's status message on gtalk a couple of days ago. When i had read the message, I was filled with rage. Because for me, delays have always turned out to be denials.

But then I also do believe in the adage of a silver lining for every dark cloud. And Trust me; I believe this now more than ever.

It's strange how life turns a full circle when you are least expecting it.

Unconditional Love

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A story is told about a soldier who was finally coming home after having fought in Vietnam. He called his parents from San Francisco.

"Mom and Dad, I'm coming home, but I've a favor to ask. I have a friend I'd like to bring home with me."

"Sure," they replied, "we'd love to meet him."

"There's something you should know the son continued, "he was hurt pretty badly in the fighting. He stepped on a land mind and lost an arm and a leg. He has nowhere else to go, and I want him to come live with us."

"I'm sorry to hear that, son. Maybe we can help him find somewhere to live."

"No, Mom and Dad, I want him to live with us."

A Reason, a Season, or a Lifetime

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People come into your life for a reason, a season, or a lifetime. When you figure out which one it is, you will know what to do for each person.

When someone is in your life for a REASON . . . It is usually to meet a need you have expressed. They have come to assist you through a difficulty, to provide you with guidance and support, to aid you physically, emotionally, or spiritually. They may seem like a godsend, and they are! They are there for the reason you need them to be.

Then, without any wrong doing on your part, or at an inconvenient time, this person will say or do something to bring the relationship to an end.

Sometimes they die.

Sometimes they walk away.

Sometimes they act up and force you to take a stand.

What we must realise is that our need has been met, our desire fulfilled, their work is done. The prayer you sent up has been answered. And now it is time to move on.

When people come into your life for a SEASON . . . Because your turn has come to share, grow, or learn. They bring you an experience of peace, or make you laugh. They may teach you something you have never done. They usually give you an unbelievable amount of joy. Believe it! It is real! But, only for a season.

LIFETIME relationships teach you lifetime lessons; things you must build upon in order to have a solid emotional foundation. Your job is to accept the lesson, love the person, and put what you have learned to use in all other relationships and areas of your life. It is said that love is blind but friendship is clairvoyant. 

~ Borrowed from the internet

The Great Greek king, Alexander

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The great Greek king, Alexander, after conquering many kingdoms, was returning home. On the way, he fell ill and he was bedridden for months. With death drawing close, Alexander realized how his conquests, his great army, his sharp sword and all his wealth were of no use.

He called his generals and said, “I will depart from this world soon. But I have three wishes. Please fulfill my wishes without fail.” With tears flowing down their cheeks, the generals agreed to abide by their king’s last wishes.

“My first desire is that,” said Alexander, “my physicians alone must carry my coffin. Secondly, when my coffin is being carried to the grave, the path leading to the graveyard should be strewn with gold, silver and precious stones which I have collected in my treasury. My third and last wish is that both my hands should be kept dangling out of my coffin.” The people who had gathered there wondered at the king’s strange wishes. But no one dared to question. Alexander’s favorite general kissed his hand and pressed them to his heart. “O king, we assure you that your wishes will all be fulfilled. But tell us why do you make such strange wishes?

At this Alexander took a deep breath and said, “I would like the world to know of the three lessons I have just learnt.

I want my physicians to carry my coffin because people should realize that no doctor can really cure anybody. They are powerless and cannot save a person from the clutches of death. So let not people take life for granted.

The second wish of strewing gold, silver and other riches on the way to the graveyard is to tell people that not even a fraction of gold can be taken by me. Let people realize that it is a sheer waste of time to chase wealth.

And about my third wish of having my hands dangling out of the coffin, I want people to know that I came empty handed into this world and empty handed I go out of this world.”

Alexander’s last words: “Bury my body, do not build any monument, keep my hands outside so that the world knows the person who won the world had nothing in his hands when dying.”

~ Borrowed from the internet

It hurts............. but do 'You' realise that it does???

Given the kind of human beings we are, one of the things that would hurt us the most is Differentiation!

Having known that do we stop others from doing it to us? No! Do we stop ourselves from doing it to others? No! Yet, if there's something that hurts us the maximum its differentiation! And its probably the most widely used tool too - the Power to differentiate!

My sorrow is not for sale

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My sorrow is not for sale,
Nor for exhibition.
Yet I end up auctioning my tears
The devil bids the highest.

Courtesy: http://gaurigharpure.blogspot.com/

Guess I'm the one who's most familiar with this. My only hope would be to wish that the devil is actually an angel in the guise of a devil

Give me some sunshine give me some rain, give me another chance to grow up once again……….

Of late there’s this strange sense of loneliness that’s creeping into me. I’m feeling myself drawn into a black hole with no way out. It like walking in a dark room with no support, or like somebody’s blindfolded me and let me loose in a place which I’ve no clue about. Finding myself alone amidst a crowd of strangers is understandable. But I seem to be finding myself alone even among known people. I’m lost in my own thoughts when everybody around me is discussing something important. I don’t seem to connect with them on any level. I’ve tried to reason it out with myself, and am not able to come to any substantial conclusion. What’s more disturbing is every time I contemplate about it, I’m being drawn deeper into the black hole. It’s happening from within and it’s like I’m completely shutting myself from the outer world. I’m not becoming conceited but I do feel that I’m on the verge of becoming oblivious to the world around me. I know it’s not a good sign but I don’t see any ray of light which can pull me away from this feeling of emptiness.

Phir Mile sur???

Of all the songs in the world, the TOI group just had to, had to chose the iconic “Mile Sur Mera Tumhara" to mutilate. No I wouldn’t use their version of ‘Phir Mile sur’ (1) (2) coz I don’t see any sur meeting. Shankar Mahadevan said in the making of the video that all of them are using the same raang, but I see Aamir doing something that looks like a cross between an Aati kya khandala tune and a 3 idiot look, and SRK, Gosh! I don’t even want to talk about his act. I wish he would stop raising his arms for everything. He does it when he’s sad, happy, romantic, patriotic. Wtf! (u must have realized by now that I’m not a SRK Fan!)

I have my own doubts on this new version of the song. Is this a song that supposed to be epitomizing national integrity? I just see it jam packed with bollywood celebritites. If the TOI group feels that Bollywood represents India completely, they must be mistaken. I don’t see the others in the video at all.

No cricketers. Sachin easily represents 2 decades of Indian cricket. And isn’t dada supposed to be the most successful captain of the Indian Cricket team? And where’s Kumble? Wasn’t he the captain of the test team that beat Australia after 22 years?

No Great Personalities? Na da! I don’t see them being even remotely mentioned anywhere. No Man Booker Prize winner Arvind Adiga, No APJ anywhere and mentioning Nobel Prize scientist S Chandrashekar in the video would not have even come in their minds!

When cricketers are not featured, I doubt whether they would have thought of other sportsmen! Vishwanatah anand, Leander Paes, Mahesh Bhupati, Rajyavardhan Rathore………..rings a bell, Mr. Surendranath???

And don’t get me started on the wardrobes!!! Deepika’s leg show = Unity? National Integrity? Patriotism? I thought the men would enjoy that bit, but I’ve been receiving mixed reactions about it! Taking into account the nature of the video, the least the people featured in it could have done was to dress appropriately. The old video was really special! The new one is just an attempt, and a really pathetic one I must say.

However the one worth mentioning aspect of the video was the message on women's education, women empowerment and Salman's effort with deaf and dumb. I must say that of the 3 Khans, its Salman’s, that’s worth mentioning.

If the TOI group wanted to capture modern India in their song, they should have featured personalities like NRN, Premji against the back drop of Electronic City. At Least it would have shown progress in the right sense. I don’t see how the new song depicts modern India when it has an overdose of bollywood celebs.

I feel the old one was picturised on such a high note that anything these people would attempt at would fall short of it.

I, honestly wish that they would stop making such pitiable attempts at recreating such wonderful songs.

This is what one user had commented and I absolutely agree with him: A song with its wings fluttering to the higher spirits is chopped down by the "commercial bollywood mafia" and some unaesthetic new generation thoughts". The soldiers gone behind the screens , sportsmen all bowled out, and yes you have " aati kya khandala " with all its vulgarity. A shame to the Director, producer and yes to all of us.

Sad but true…

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Today I had to take one of the most difficult decision of my life………… closing my first ever salary account. I had been postponing this decision over the past 6 months with the hope that I may find a job and the account would become active again but it’s been of no use.

As I walked to the bank I had the feeling that I was going to lose a very dear friend of mine………… my debit card. I probably never felt this depressed even when I quit my job coz I was never attached to it.

I remember the very first day I had touched it, it felt so magical. I was ecstatic the day I was handed my very own debit card. I even remember the first purchase I made using the card.

Finishing the formalities as I handed the debit card and cheque book to the person sitting across the counter, he started fidgeting with my debit card. He bent it so that it cannot be reused again and I felt that he was bending a part of me. That’s when I realized: somebody’s prized possession may be somebody else’s toy.

As I walked back from the bank, my bag did feel lighter with the absence of the debit card and cheque book but my heart sure felt heavier.

Taciturn reflections indeed!

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I thought my creative juices had dried up & I was suffering from a temporary period of writer's block until a disturbing event surged up my emotions wreaking havoc in my mind.

The past few weeks have been extremely disturbing at the personal font & taxing my brains creating unexplainable turmoil within me. I have been muddling my way through this mess, dragging myself to face the realities of the harsh world yet again. I thought “YOU” were giving me the courage & the hope of a brighter tomorrow. All “YOU” were doing is feeding me with enough strength so that when I could faintly stand up on my legs, “YOU” can beat me down to dust again. “YOU” & me have an on-going battle, since time immemorial which both of know & are aware of. By now i have learnt of tricks to deceit “YOU” in “YOUR” own game. Yet my love & devotion towards you has never become less. Yes, I do question “YOU” on occasions when I felt “YOU” were not by me, those occasions when I needed “YOUR” support the most, I had to search high & low for “YOU.”

I do believe in the "footprints of sand", but “YOU” have never proved it to me when time & again I was faced with such situations where I wanted “YOU” to hold my hand and comfort me. Yet, I am not complaining about it.

But I don’t understand “YOUR” actions towards the people who trusted “YOU” the most. Even during the most disturbing times they never forget to thank “YOU” for what “YOU” have given them, yet it is these very people who “YOU” are torturing today with pain like they have never experienced before.

I know I deserve the 'testing times', “YOU” are taking me through. “YOU” probably want to make me emotionally stronger. What I fail to understand is why “YOU” are taking 'them' through these testing times when they definitely do not deserve this at this age. Don't “YOU” feel you are distancing “YOURSELF” from them??? Yet their love and devotion towards “YOU” will not become less. They will never complain to “YOU” about it.

I don’t know if this would make “YOU” feel any much guilty than “YOU” already are?