Taciturn reflections indeed!

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I thought my creative juices had dried up & I was suffering from a temporary period of writer's block until a disturbing event surged up my emotions wreaking havoc in my mind.

The past few weeks have been extremely disturbing at the personal font & taxing my brains creating unexplainable turmoil within me. I have been muddling my way through this mess, dragging myself to face the realities of the harsh world yet again. I thought “YOU” were giving me the courage & the hope of a brighter tomorrow. All “YOU” were doing is feeding me with enough strength so that when I could faintly stand up on my legs, “YOU” can beat me down to dust again. “YOU” & me have an on-going battle, since time immemorial which both of know & are aware of. By now i have learnt of tricks to deceit “YOU” in “YOUR” own game. Yet my love & devotion towards you has never become less. Yes, I do question “YOU” on occasions when I felt “YOU” were not by me, those occasions when I needed “YOUR” support the most, I had to search high & low for “YOU.”

I do believe in the "footprints of sand", but “YOU” have never proved it to me when time & again I was faced with such situations where I wanted “YOU” to hold my hand and comfort me. Yet, I am not complaining about it.

But I don’t understand “YOUR” actions towards the people who trusted “YOU” the most. Even during the most disturbing times they never forget to thank “YOU” for what “YOU” have given them, yet it is these very people who “YOU” are torturing today with pain like they have never experienced before.

I know I deserve the 'testing times', “YOU” are taking me through. “YOU” probably want to make me emotionally stronger. What I fail to understand is why “YOU” are taking 'them' through these testing times when they definitely do not deserve this at this age. Don't “YOU” feel you are distancing “YOURSELF” from them??? Yet their love and devotion towards “YOU” will not become less. They will never complain to “YOU” about it.

I don’t know if this would make “YOU” feel any much guilty than “YOU” already are?